Because I am not an octopus.

  • Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
  • Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
  • Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
  • Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
  • Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
  • Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
  • Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
  • Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
  • Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
  • Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
  • Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
  • Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
  • Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
  • Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
  • Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
  • Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.

1 June 2012 • reblog: asinmancy

foxycyrus:

The Russian fans really like the darkness, they were crazy for Tom Hiddleston, who plays Loki.

(via dikshit)

1 June 2012 • reblog: foxycyrus

(Source: rdj-herpderp, via dikshit)

1 June 2012 • reblog: rdj-herpderp

Ms. Vida Boheme

<3<3<3

(via disappointme)

1 June 2012 • reblog: fuckyeahshuthefuckup

little-fire:

cause i’m having a good time !

(via valedoomings)

1 June 2012 • reblog: little-fire

(Source: mcavoyings, via fuckyeahhhfassy)

1 June 2012 • reblog: mcavoyings

  • loki: kneel before me, puny huma-
  • all of tumblr: *falls to the floor*
  • loki: ...well, that was easy. now-
  • all of tumblr: oh my god look at how precious he is when he's trying to rule!
  • loki: wha-
  • all of tumblr: look you can see the pain in his eyes even now!
  • loki: look here, i am trying to control your lives, you insolent little-
  • all of tumblr: omsfkdkjsdgkdmgks loki skdjksaljdlkasj

1 June 2012 • reblog: hehasamustache

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

1 June 2012 • reblog: supersonic-scorpio

lastremaininglight:

sourcedumal:

xerovision:

I WANT THEM

Dear future boyfriend: Wear these. Often.

Dear future girlfriend: we should get contrasting ones of these and wear coordinates together.

(Source: nitemea, via toxicnotebook)

1 June 2012 • reblog: nitemea

robertdowneyy: wurk it tony stark aka my hipster king

robertdowneyy:

wurk it tony stark aka my hipster king

(via dikshit)

1 June 2012 • reblog: robertdowneyy • what do you have ON UGH NO